OMG- this weekend was not long enough!

I had so much fun that, honestly, I’m not in “Monday Mode” yet (bare with me). I’m still recovering from Saturday’s Birthday Bash (which by the way was way too much fun) and I want desperately to go back, just one day, so that I can continue to vegetate a little longer!

No, I shouldn’t have done it, but I did. I drank myself silly which I don’t do very often.

Now for those that are laughing at me right now, when I say I don’t drink that often, I don’t…or at least not like I used to. But after having to nurse a hangover yesterday- I remember why I stopped and why I don’t want to do this again for a long while. Why? Because right now I’m struggling with a swollen foot that is retaining water and a stomach that is still pretty upset with me (don’t ask why my foot swelled- I have no idea). When I drink; I do stupid things that I regret doing later and while I may be one “happy drunk”, I’m also a dreaded lush. It’s hard to stop once I get started and most importantly- I should know better than to drink since I have CKD (Chronic Kidney Disease) and type 1 diabetes. That in itself makes me feel stupid for even considering a night of drinking, but, as I’ve always told myself- I’m just a gluten for punishment!

I can’t say that I have a problem “drinking” because I don’t. I don’t drink during the week. I don’t drink every weekend, in fact, I can go a long time without even wanting a beer or a glass of wine. There are times that I just don’t care to drink. The problem I have is that when I do start (for that evening), I don’t want to stop. For that evening; I enjoy the taste and the relaxed feeling it gives me. For that evening; I feel like I could let my hair down and just be myself.

For those that don’t know me except for through this blog. I’m actually a pretty high stung person without any aid. I’m always doing something and something always needs to be done. I can’t watch a whole movie with the family without having to get up and start something else. I can’t see a crumb on the floor without having to pull out the vacuum and clean the rest of the house. I can’t write a full post without stopping a couple times in between to check my email, search the net or get up to walk around which always ends with me finding something else that needs to be done or taken care of. I just can’t help it; I have to be doing something all the time. Oh, and another thing I should mention is; I’m always a happy go lucky person. It’s very rare to see me in a bad mood. I’m just naturally happy and laxed about everything.

Alcohol, to me, just amplifies my giddiness. It amplifies my willingness to do things I would otherwise not do; for fear of embarrassing myself. Which I’m sure I did a lot of this Saturday. If you know what I did- don’t tell me. I’d rather keep that out of my head cause it’ll drive me crazy knowing how stupid I really behaved!

I’m turning over a new leaf though. As of today; I am no longer drinking. I don’t care what type of day I had or how grand that glass of wine may sound. I don’t care how awesome the party is or who the party is for, I just don’t care to do it anymore! For now on it’s iced tea and coffee for me. No more alcohol, beer or wine. I did it before and I can do it again. I don’t need liquor or beer to have fun. I know I can have a good time without all that stuff.

Anyways, sorry for the random post. Or better yet, sorry for the rambling-random post today. I should be working but instead I find myself wanting to jibber-jabber about it anyways. I know it’s not really me (to discuss things like this), but I figured; why not? There’s no harm in sharing, is there? I mean, no one is going to hate me for stating that I drank too damn much Saturday and that I’m paying the price still today, are they? Let me just say that I hope not. Anyways- I’m done! I’m now in 24/7 mommy mode and nothing more.